Pros and Cons of Living in an RV Full Time — Lessons from a Family of Four
My family and I have been living full-time in our stationary RV for almost three years, loving every minute of it!
That doesn’t mean we haven’t navigated more than our share of struggles, but the lessons we have learned and the closeness we have shared more than makes up for the difficulties. Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes, and a lot of ours have come in 340 square feet!
Our RV a few months after moving in!
I really wanted to share a pros and cons list for anyone who is curious, and especially for those of you who are seriously considering moving your family into an RV. But I soon realized that if I were to make a list of pros and then a list of cons, they would just be the mirror opposites of each other, and basically have me repeating myself.
What I mean is that for every struggle I can list, there is an opposite and equal lesson or insight our family gained. In fact, I don’t think the pros list would really exist without the cons. One of life’s little quirks I suppose. Actually, I think it is one of God’s graces. They say “it never rains but it pours” and yet after the rain you always find the sun. You don’t expect one without the other.
So here we are, with a list of equal opposites. Instead of numbering them separately I am just going to go through the invaluable lessons our family has learned from stationary RV living, with the pros and cons as a part of the whole.
Working in the garden!
Be adaptable
Con:
In RV living, just as in any living, things go wrong. There is a lot to learn if you have never owned an RV before and there are not a lot of people to give you advice. You are often left to go it on your own and fix the problems as they come or trouble shoot them the best you can. There is a lot of trial and error and even when you think you are prepared, the unknown comes along to surprise you.
In our time here, we’ve had a rat get into the holes inside the RV during Christmas, the water pipes freeze because the heating cords failed, the electricity go out in below freezing weather the day after my daughter was born, breakers continuing to trip when we needed to work remotely, mystery clogs in the drains and toilet, DIY installs that seemed simple but weren't, etc.
Pro:
In every situation, we had a choice. We could stiffen up and freeze under the pressure and fear that everything was ruined, or we could calmly put one foot in front of the other and figure things out. Sometimes that meant taking a break, walking it off, or just bursting into tears.
I often found myself praying silently as I walked, or spending a few minutes alone in our room to re-focus on what really mattered. In each situation, there was no step-by-step guide or expert we could call. Believe me, we looked! So we had to do it on our own. We had to put our heads down and make it work. We reminded each other to stay calm and keep trying until we found a solution. If we gave up, we were giving up on our home and that was not going to happen.
Over the years we have become increasingly flexible and able to adapt to changes and disappointments. We owe a lot of that to good old RV living. Not only that, but my appreciation for my husband has only deepened. In sticky, scary moments, when a lot was going wrong, he stepped up. He figured things out, and he didn’t quit. In those moments I felt such gratitude for him. And when we came out the other side we could relax and truly celebrate making it through.
I think those moments are good examples for our kids as well. They see us struggle but not give up, and they see the ways that we solve problems. We don’t lose it when something goes wrong. We work together and help each other. I try to be honest when I am having a hard time and own up when I make mistakes.
I talk about the time I need to pray and my reliance on God when things seem to go wrong. I am honestly not that adaptable of a person on my own, but learning to trust God as a faithful provider has really allowed me to hold things lightly and let go when I need to. And nothing helps with that like the unknowns of an RV!
Husband and son in our first raised beds shortly after moving in! Microsteading!
Communicate
Con:
RVs are small spaces, as you know. You may also know that small spaces with multiple people in them can feel crowded very quickly. So if you want to raise a family in a small space then communication is key.
It can be tricky with my son, who just turned 6 and who loves to play-fight and make his own soundtrack wherever he goes. This can quickly overwhelm my husband who is very introverted and becomes agitated with too much noise (who doesn’t). He will sometimes communicate his needs too passively instead of directly stating what he needs. My son, like any 6 year old, is a concrete thinker and needs literal, straight forward directions. Without them, he gets in trouble for not obeying when he did not even realize he was being given an order.
Pro:
We have learned to listen, to reflect back and validate where the other person is coming from, and to quickly say “sorry.” It can be tricky territory, but it provides so many opportunities to move through conflict and make repairs when things go wrong. And it has been a valuable way for me to teach our son about love. The loving way to talk to others, the way to show love in our actions, and how to put others before himself. But it all starts with how we communicate.
My husband is learning to state his needs directly, to tell my son what is expected of him. I want to be clear that as a family we are not perfect communicators. We get it wrong a lot. But we are very good at recognizing when something is off, talking it through, and showing mercy.
Our RV patio looking out onto the greenhouse and garden
Things are just things, but don't take anything for granted
Con:
To put it in my husband’s words: “Everything is cheap and everything is expensive.” What he means is that the cost of an RV is high and the build quality is low. You are paying a lot for something that in many ways is pretty cheap and often seems slapped together without a lot of care.
This was hard for me to adjust to at first. We invested a lot of money into our RV, and it was my home. My husband and I were lovingly, carefully adding our own touches and trying our best to do them right. Meanwhile, we kept uncovering places where it seemed no care was taken at all. In the end, however, it was something I learned to live with.
I found that many of those shoddy areas could be changed with a little work, and because the materials were cheap to begin with I didn’t mind taking some risks with DIY changes. We put in a new bathroom sink and vanity, changed the counters, painted all the trim, took out the valences and some of the lights, built a bed for our son, faux tiled the bathroom and kitchen backsplash, and the list goes on. Those projects were far from perfect, but so was the original.
Pro:
There was freedom to dream and to try things out, and since the original was on RV-quality the stakes didn’t seem too high. We could mess up and then find a way to fix it. And because the space is small, we could afford to make more changes.
In the end, I loved the results. I stopped seeing the mistakes and imperfections and I just saw the love and work my husband and I put into it. I saw the creativity and care of two people who hadn’t done any major DIY projects before this, and the triumph of making a personalized home for ourselves.
Plus, because the materials were simple, so were the fixes. Typically, some elbow grease and a quick trip to the hardware store is all you need to make home repairs. Then, as a bonus, when we added in some higher end upgrades, like live-edge counters, I was able to truly value the quality. I didn’t take anything for granted.
I still feel that way. I see the lower quality pieces, but to me they represent freedom and home. Then I see our upgrades, and I am so grateful. I am thankful that God has provided for my family in such an amazing way, and that we’ve had this unique and precious opportunity.
Take Ownership and know your best is good enough
Con:
Hooking up necessities and utilities is within reach of your average DIYer but you have to go it by yourself. There is no general contractor to come out and do it for you. Our setup was created through problem solving, researching, and living in the space in order to figure out what was working and what wasn’t. Had to find our place and make the utilities come to us, figuring out how to do that in a clean and budget-friendly way. Some of you may already have access to pump houses, adequate electrical boxes, and a clear path to a septic or other system. We didn’t have any of those before we created them. Obviously this is not an area where you want to mess around, so doing your research and getting the right people to come out and help you is vital. Given the rural area we were in, we had to do a lot of digging and asking around before we figured out who could actually help us with electrical instillation and who understood what we needed given our more unique circumstances. As for the septic and water, those were up to us. My husband really dove into the research and came up with a great plan for us to use gravity in moving black and grey water to the septic. I then had the idea to create a loggery in front of the hoses so they were out of sight and we instead had a pretty hedge that brambles and moss could grow on. I even went through and placed pieces of wood with moss very strategically in front of bright orange parts of the hoses that stood out, so that by the end we had a live barrier that completely hid the crucial septic elements behind and below it.
Pro:
I felt such a sense of accomplishment when we were through. Not only had we figured out all of the pieces and put them in place successfully, we had also made them beautiful. We worked with the land and the forest, using what elements we already had. Of course there was a lot of grunt work, but again that was the idea of being out here. To work for what we had and feel ownership over it. We took responsibility for understanding all of the inner workings of the RV and by the end of our work we — especially my husband — could speak with certainty and authority about the RV’s systems and what it takes to make them work.
Spiral prayer path I built over the past year
Loving the Lessons
So many of the challenges we’ve had in the past few years of RV living have been unique and special because we faced them together, as a team. We obviously had our marital/family ups and downs before the RV, even facing some scary and life-changing issues, but that felt different somehow.
RV problems are often problems unfolding quickly in real-time and in a very small space. Small spaces and a lot of contact mean we need helpful, consistent strategies for holding onto relationships while still getting the space and time to recharge and feel like people again. RV problems required more hands-on problem solving, in-the-minute flexibility, the ability to stay calm when everything seems to be falling apart, and the grace to realize when we were wrong and make it right.
In the end, even considering the difficult cons of being a family in an RV, I am left with all of the beauty and possibility we have experienced. I can’t help thinking the lessons and the joy have way outweighed the work and uncertainty. I can’t ask for more than that.
Have you had a similar experience? Do you have any insights to share with us? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!
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Disclaimer: This is a blog, which contains a mixture of my current knowledge and opinions. The information is accurate to the best of my knowledge but may contain omission, errors, or mistakes. I am a psychologist licensed to practice in the state of Washington, but this article does not create a psychologist-client relationship. I am providing psychological information and my own opinions for informational purposes only, and anything I present should not be seen as psychological, emotional, or medical advice or treatment. You should consult with a mental health professional or your primary care physician before you rely on this information or take any action. I reserve the right to change how I manage or run my blog and may change the focus or content at any time.